CHAPTER FOUR

The Setting of Our Love

After the meeting at my house, our courtship entered a new phase. If I had considered previously that our love tree had already budded and grown to be a sapling, now the tree was starting to put down deeper roots. We started to have even more meetings together, with Puyi wanting to see me almost every day. Sometimes, Puyi came straight to my house without prior making a telephone call.

In the first half of 1962, our country was still in a state of economic difficulty. In order to help take care of Puyi and the other party members, the government issued each commissioner of the Historical Account of Past Events at least ten meal coupons per month. With these coupons, they could enjoy better meals at the dining rooms in the CPPCC HQ, or the Cultural Club. Puyi often came to meet me before dinner on Saturday or before breakfast on Sunday and then we would go together to eat there. Sometimes we would see some of his colleagues, who were eating there as well. They always cheerfully came over to greet and joke with us, asking us when we were going to get married and telling us to remember to offer them some wedding sweets¹.

Wanrong (1906-1946), Puyi's Empress at the time of "Grand Nuptials" December,1922

Wenxiu (1909-1951), Puyi's "Virtuous Concubine" at the age of 13

To give me a different selection of food, every now and then, Puyi would also take me to the high-class National Minorities Hotel or to the Xinqiao Hotel, to dine there.

During this period, Puyi had been busy making amendments to his book, The First Half of My Life with the assistance of the Masses Publishing House. Once, while working through his manuscript with the editor, he took me to the Masses Publishing House and showed me a lot of the original photographs. Among them were the photos of Wanrong, his former empress, and Wenxu, Tan Yuling, and Li Yuqing, his former three imperial concubines. This was the first time I had seen their photos.

Tan yuling (1920-1942), Puyi's third wife, who was conferred the title of "Auspicious Concubine" when she married Puyi in 1937

Strolling around the streets was one of his hobbies. On Sundays, he was very fond of sauntering along the streets with me, looking at department stores, food stores, bus-stop signs, rubbish bins, as well as shop assistants with white caps and the young girls in blue uniforms who were walking on the streets. These were everyday sights for anyone, but most intriguing for him.

After he had entered the Forbidden City at the age of three, he had been constantly under the close supervision of the several high consorts. There was "strict observance of rules", and he was always being followed by a group of retinue who were always ready to serve him and care for him. He told me that he had hated his boring "prison life" in the Forbidden City, which had lasted for many years. At long last, he had gained his freedom and he loved the "open space between the blue sky and the vast earth".

In the spring of 1943, 15-yearold student Li Yuqin was selected to be Puyi's fourth wife, being conferred the title of "Fortunate Concubine".

I remember once when we ate at a small restaurant on Xisi Street. Sitting at a square table, we bought two bowls of steamed rice, a plate of fried shredded pork and a bowl of soup with meat balls. A man eating near us suddenly recognized Puyi and blurted out: "Isn't that the 'Little Emperor' (Xiao Huang Di)?" When everyone in the restaurant heard this, they put down their bowls and chopsticks, and then crowded around us, whispering, "Look, it's Emperor Xuantong!" Some gazed at me in wonder:"Is she the Empress?" I was frightened, and didn't dare to raise my head, but was only too aware that my face had turned red, my ears were humming and my head felt numb. For the first time in my life people were staring at me, gossiping about me and treating me like a monster. But Puyi didn't care at all, he was glad to chat with the people, nodding at them, and laughing heartily.

A scholarly-looking old man, with a long white beard, came to shake hands with Puyi and to show his great respect. Puyi invited him to join us and chatted without stopping eating.

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"I'm at the CPPCC", Puyi replied.

"I heard that you work at the Research Institute of Culture and History," the old man commented.

"Actually I work at the Research Committee of the Historical Acccounts of Past Events connected to the CPPCC," Puyi replied.

"Is your lifestyle busy now?" he continued.

"Most of the time, I check and approve the historical accounts of past events, also correcting them if necessary. Besides, every week I like to find time to go to the Beijing Botanical Gardens to do physical exercise," Puyi went on.

"You're looking very healthy, would you mind telling me how old you are?" the old man questioned.

"Uncle (a term of friendly respect used when speaking to the older generation, which doesn't necessarily imply a blood relationship), can you guess?" Puyi asked in reply.

"You look around forty years old, but..." the old man looked Puyi up and down, counting on his fingers, "Xuantong's reign was from 1909 to..."

"I'm fifty-six years old this year," Puyi butted in, smiling.

"You don't look that age, you really don't look that age," said the old man, shaking his head and sighing with emotion: "You're not at all haughty nowadays!"

"I'm an ordinary citizen now. How could I be haughty? I'm proud to be an ordinary worker," Puyi remarked.

Puyi answered all of the old man's questions politely. Finally, the old man asked Puyi who I was. Puyi told him, with a respectful look: "She is my lady friend!" The old man was staggered: "Is that really true! When you were emperor, would you ever bring your lady friend to eat at such a small restaurant?" Puyi answered him emotionally, "Of course, I couldn't do it then. But the former Puyi is dead, and the one you see now is the new Puyi."

After that meal we said our farewells to the old man. Holding Puyi's hand in his, the old man invited Puyi to go to his home: "My home is at Xisi Street, if you are ever free, then please come to my home as my guest." Puyi then waved goodbye to the waitresses and the diners in the small restaurant.

Puyi at the age of 17 when he was arranged to have his "Grand Nuptials"

Leaving the restaurant, I complained to Puyi: "Just now, I really wanted to slip away but we were surrounded by so many people!" Puyi disagreed with me, "The old man and those around us were friendly. They were just showing that they care for us. They are our friends. We shouldn't leave the restaurant without talking with them. That would leave them feeling disappointed."

This little incident at the small restaurant gave me an even greater respect for Puyi. He was so modest, and willing to mix himself with the working class. I couldn't believe that he was the former "Son of Heaven". I was sure he hadn't been one of the notorious "Sadists". Although Puyi was often ashamed to tell me about his "hideous behaviour" from his early years, I simply couldn't believe that it was true. I was in love with this wonderful man and could only see his good points which set him in such a positive light for me. Maybe I am proof of the saying, "love is blind."

Of course, I didn't mean that Puyi had no faults. During the many years spent at the Forbidden City, and especially the period when he acted as "The Puppet Emperor", he was constantly under surveillance, which made him suspicious of others. He told me that he hardly ever ate meals outside, except at his younger brother's and sister's homes, for fearing that somebody might poison him.

Once at my home at the beginning of the March 1962, he suddenly asked me: "Comrade Li (this was what he liked to call me before our marriage), you must be good at cooking southern-style Chinese food?" I nodded, "Please come here next week, and I'll cook for you." The following Sunday, he happily came and brought some cans of fish and meat with him. I cooked several Shanghai and Hangzhou-style dishes for him. But strangely, he wouldn't touch them, although I kept inviting him to eat. He just sat there. I was deeply disappointed, having to eat by myself. Later, I realized that at that time he wasn't yet ready to trust me unreservedly.

Some times Puyi liked coming to my house before I returned from my work. Actually, he was aware of my work schedule, so why did he do this? I slowly learned that he needed to find an excuse to visit Aunt Li. At her home, Puyi made detailed inquiries about my habits. Did I return home late every evening? What kind of friends came to my home? Were there any male comrades among them? How careful and thorough his investigations were! Puyi thus set up a good relationship with Aunt Li and following our marriage, he still liked going to visit her.

I was not only once an object of his suspicion, but on one occasion, he had a tiff with me. While around my house, Puyi mentioned his former empress and concubines. He confessed that he had no idea about the normal affection between husband and wife then and that he considered his wife and concubines as toys and ornaments, going to enjoy their company; when he was unhappy he would cut them dead. In fact, he said that he didn't love any of them. Upon hearing this, I bantered with him: "You won't treat me like that in the future, will you?" My joke unexpectedly offended him and he became angry, saying: "If we can't really share our lives happily together, then let's just be good friends!" Abruptly, he put on his coat and left.

Why did Puyi get so angry? I understood his way of thinking only some years later. After being granted special amnesty from the government, what Puyi valued most were the fruits of his ten years of reformation. What Puyi hated bitterly was being judged by people relating to his past position as emperor. They had not been distinguishing the first half of his life from the second half of his life. He would often say that "yesterday's Puyi is the enemy of today's Puyi." Therefore what I said to him had unintentionally touched a "raw nerve".

Following the tiff, Puyi didn't come to my home for three nights. Aunt Li asked me why she hadn't seen Mr. Puyi for several days. I had to put her off, saying that I hadn't phoned him.

Three nights later he eventually appeared again at my home. He excused himself, saying that he had caught a cold.

"I regret making you angry!" I said.

"Forget it!" he replied. I was sure Puyi hadn't forgoten the tiff. He had been ready to apologize to others and examine his own mistakes. Then, he offered his apology to me. "I have experienced reformation and I shall never treat my wife like my former empress or concubines." I looked at him. It seemed as if he was waiting to hear my opinion. Puyi was too frank, sometimes even naive, but at least he was really straightforward and honest.

Before long, the CPPCC HQ sent officials to our hospital to examine my personal life. Puyi worried whether I would be considered acceptable and our marriage would be approved. Some days later, a leader of the CPPCC called Puyi to his office, formally notifying him that "Comrade Li Shuxian is a good comrade, with a clear political record and moral integrity and has proved to be honest, understanding a woman's role in society. So the leaders of the CPPCC have ratified your application for marriage. But do you mind that she is a divorcee? This is your decision". Puyi answered, "I have carefully considered the situation. She was right to get out of a miserable marriage forced up on her by the feudal society".

That evening, Puyi came around. Taking my hand in his, he appeared so happy, so I teased him, asking if he had come across a lost purse on his way to my home. He answered me, excitedly, saying, "The CPPCC HQ has sent officials to your hospital, to investigate you at Personnel. They have given you a good evaluation. My leader has informed me that they have ratified our marriage, so I needn't worry about it anymore. How could I fail to be happy? Now, you are the person I love the most. If I had lost you, because our leaders wouldn't ratify our marriage, how painful it would have been for me!"

From then on, the "Comrade Zhou", who had often phoned our hospital, now referred to himself as Puyi. It created a sensation in our hospital that I was dating "Emperor Xuantong". All of my colleagues were gossiping about it in amazement. Being supported by the authorities of both sides, it became much easier for Puyi to see me. He sometimes went to my house during my working hours, and if this happened, Aunt Li would immediately phone the leaders of our hospital and they would give me permission to return home straight away. Hurrying back home to receive Puyi, I would chat with him for a while, before walking with him to the bus stop to see him off. Afterwards, I would return to my hospital, to resume my work.

Puyi reading at home

Later on, Puyi changed his practice and would come to my home in the afternoons. Every day, he would first go on the No.1 trolley bus from the Baitasi stop in Xicheng District and get off at the Chaoyangmen Gate stop in Dongcheng District. Then he would walk over to my house. He gradually became familiar with the routine, and so he eventually dared to come to my home in the evening. In those days, I was quite busy with my daily work, and on top of that we had political sessions or professional meetings, almost every evening. Thus, I would return home late. Before opening the front door, my neighbours would come to tell me: "Mr. Zhou has arrived; he's waiting for you in your room." They still liked calling Puyi, "Mr. Zhou".

Besides the special meal coupons every month, at that time Puyi and his released war criminal colleagues would get a ration card at a discounted price from the CPPCC HQ every month. Therefore they would go to buy biscuits, sweets, fruit and canned food from a specially designated shop. Puyi always brought them to my home and share them with me.

After "going steady" with Puyi for four months, I had made up my mind that I would spend the rest of my life with Puyi. But even so, there were some of my colleagues, who cared deeply for me and advised me to think over the matter carefully. They would say, "How could an emperor share common ground with ordinary people?" From my personal experience of courting Puyi, I was convinced he was no different from the rest of us, the ordinary people, and that he had many fine qualities and virtues which endeared me to him.

However, a lady working in the control lab of our hospital couldn't understand why I was seeing Puyi. She advised me, "You are still young, why are you planning to marry Puyi? How can you live together with a feudal emperor?" I answered her: "Thank you for caring about me, but he loves me and I love him".

One of my close colleagues was Ms. Wei, whose sister-in-law worked in the hospital's Personnel section. Upon hearing the news that the CPPCC HQ was sending officials to investigate me, she came to question me about it: "You didn't take a fancy for any of the gentlemen introduced to you previously, but you settled on Puyi. I don't get it. Are you after his money?" "No, he is very poor now," I answered, "both of us depend on and live on our own salaries."

"Then, what do you love about him?" she asked.

"I love him for who he is. He is honest and loves me deeply." I tried my best to let her understand our relationship, but failed. She warned me that she would finish our friendship, if I married Puyi (And after our marriage, she did just that! )

The love between Puyi and I was deepening continually. He knew that I was in poor health, so he would always remind me to wear more clothes when it was cold. Once I caught a cold and he came to see me right away. Seeing that I was suffering from a sore throat and that couldn't speak, he became very anxious. He urged me to go and see a famous Chinese doctor called Mr. Chang Rongzeng, who worked in the Navy Hospital. This was because Puyi favoured Chinese Medicine. I assured him that I would recover in a couple of days, so that I needn't see a doctor. To my surprise, he turned away sadly, with tears running down his face. He stopped crying only after I consoled him for a long time. A week later Puyi phoned and told me that he was ill with a high fever. On my break I hurried to see him with some of his favourite food. I took his temperature and it was 38 degrees Celsius. I offered to go to the hospital with him, where he could get an injection to help him recover quickly. He seemed touched greatly: "At long last, I have a true friend! You came a long way to see me and I'm feeling much better now, so I needn't go to hospital". Then, there was a silence. He squeezed my hand tightly and gazed into my eyes: "Tell me, please, when will you marry me?"

"Let's wait a little while!" I said.

"Why wait?" he beseeched me, "Marry me, please. Let's get married soon!"

"Are you worried that I might change my mind?" I queried. I could read his thoughts. "A little bit, I love you, so I'm afraid of losing you and I cannot live without you!" said Puyi speaking from his heart.

"I know a Chinese proverb," I responded. "I'd like to use it to show you my heart: 'Seas may run dry, rocks turn to dust, but I'll always be loyal to you'."

Hearing what I said, Puyi was so happy that he nearly jumped out of his chair with excitement. Like joining a pair of Chinese couplets, he sung out the following words:

A mountain has its summit,

The river flows from its source.

The flower of our love will never wither.

Our love affair had reached its high tide. Like many young sweethearts we then also "pledged our troth" and planned to marry.

Notes

1　Wedding sweets and cigarettes are memorable features of a Chinese wedding, given out to friends and relatives shortly before or after the wedding.